I Should Have the Right to Hug My Incarcerated Dad

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2025-11-17

I Should Have the Right to Hug My Incarcerated Dad

Locked Out: The Devastating Impact of Remote Visitation on Incarcerated Families

The article delves into the personal experiences of a young individual whose father is incarcerated, highlighting the profound challenges and emotional toll that the shift from in-person visits to remote communication has had on their family. It explores the limitations and frustrations associated with phone calls, video calls, and messaging, as well as the broader implications of this policy change on families across the country.

Disconnected Bonds: The Harsh Reality of Remote Visitation for Incarcerated Families

The Shift to Remote Visitation: A Troubling Trend

The article begins by explaining that the jail where the author's father is incarcerated has eliminated in-person visits, replacing them with phone and video calls. This trend, the author notes, is happening across the country, leaving many children unable to spend quality time with their incarcerated parents. The author expresses their dislike for phone calls, citing the high costs and the frequent technical issues with video calls, which often result in wasted money and disappointment.

The Limitations of Electronic Communication

The author then delves into the challenges of communicating with their father through the messaging app used by the jail. They describe the process as feeling like "confusing homework," with the pressure to say the right thing and the inability to fully capture their emotions. The author also expresses concerns about the lack of privacy, as all communication between them and their father is recorded, which they find to be a "major invasion of privacy."

The Emotional Toll of Separation

The article then shifts to the emotional impact of the separation, as the author laments the inability to see their father's expressions and hear his voice, making it difficult to gauge how he is truly feeling. The author reminisces about the quality time they used to spend with their father before his incarceration, such as going to the beach, watching movies, and enjoying his homemade BLT sandwiches.

Missed Milestones and Family Moments

The article delves deeper into the personal impact, as the author shares how their father has missed out on important family milestones, such as the introduction of a new boyfriend, the birth of a grandchild, and the passing of a great-grandmother. The author emphasizes that the consequences of the remote visitation policy extend beyond the incarcerated individual, affecting the entire family.

The Profit Motive Behind the Policy Change

The article concludes by revealing the potential financial motivations behind the policy change, citing information from an investigator who informed the author and their sister that the jail had significantly increased its revenue from people trying to communicate with their loved ones after the in-person visits were banned. This suggests that the policy shift may have been driven, at least in part, by financial considerations rather than the well-being of the incarcerated individuals and their families.